The Boycott Bandwagon

Here's one I wrote a number of years ago. It was published - and then pulled - from an online magazine. Apparently it ruffled a few too many feathers... I'm rather proud of that.

Disney offers fringe benefits to same-sex partners of their employees, the same benefits they offer to the spouses of married employees. Also, many of their recent films propagate “New Age” and worldly ideas. Scholastic Books sells the Harry Potter series and promotes these books – and others that deal with magic and witchcraft – in the public school system. For a while, Yahoo was allowing adult films to be advertised on their web page, accessible to anyone. Many big chain and local bookstores and video stores sell adult magazines and videos. This list could go on and on. The evils of this world are all around us.

And how do we as Christians respond to this imminent threat? We boycott. That’s right, we boycott the products and stores. We stand on street corners holding picket signs. Then we send emails to all our friends telling them not to support these companies as well.

I remember the first time I heard about the “boycott bandwagon” rolling through town. In 1988, Universal Pictures released Martin Scorsese’s The Last Temptation of Christ. While it received a lot of critical acclaim, most Christians “went to the mattresses” over the blasphemous nature of the film. Some even tried to purchase the negatives so that they could destroy them before the film’s release. Pastors everywhere were telling their congregations to boycott Universal. And many in those congregations did boycott Universal, for a while at least.

But in the grand scheme of things, what good has it done? Did we think that with our picket signs and chain emails that we could actually topple these multi-million dollar companies and rid the world of their corrupting influence? I cannot recall a single instance in which one of these companies decided to pull a product off the shelves as a result of protesting Christians. See, I think we’ve been going about this all wrong. Instead of threatening not to buy products or services, we need to completely remove ourselves from all this wickedness. We need to take drastic measures. I have a plan…

We, the Body of Christ, need to band together and have our own state (kind of like what Brigham Young and the Mormons did in Utah). We could become a completely autonomous entity and expel all evildoers from our borders. We would have to be totally self-sufficient, producing our own products to meet all our needs and desires. After all, we couldn’t import anything for fear of supporting some liberal or licentious corporation.

I can see it now. Every home elegantly decorated with Thomas Kinkade prints with strategically placed Bible verses. Every television broadcasting reruns of Leave It to Beaver and 7th Heaven. You could catch a double feature at the movie theater of Left Behind and the Jesus film. Children can be seen in living rooms watching Veggie Tales and playing with their “Little Jesus” action figures. Every car has a Jesus fish and bumper stickers that say, “Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven.” Oh what a wonderful world it would be.

Of course there are tons of practical issues to deal with here. But not to worry, I’ve worked out most of those details. We could raise the money by holding car washes and bake sales. Or, if we choose to be a bit more aggressive, we could pursue those user-owner laws (the ones that say if you use a piece of property for x number of years, you can go to court and claim it as your own). Just a few more years of protesting on the sidewalks outside one of these notorious stores, and the place is ours. So, finances wouldn’t really be an issue. And besides, God has a big bank account; He’ll certainly provide.

Taking into consideration the differences in opinion and doctrine amongst various denominations, we could give each one their own county. That way, we would not only be separated from the debauchery of the world, but also from each other.

We would also have to build huge walls around our state and only allow in those who have confessed Jesus as Lord and Savior. Soldiers armed with their swords of the Spirit would guard every possible means of entrance. Along with this wall would be a big bubble to keep out radio and television waves from the outside.

Think of it. Doesn’t this sound great? We would no longer have to worry about our money supporting companies and organizations that don’t line up with Biblical standards. We would no longer have the corruption of the world influencing our Christian lives (think of how great it would be for the children!). All ties and connections with the world would be severed. Certainly this is what Jesus would do, isn’t it?